Don’t Bring Your Guns to Town, Santa! (A Guide to Safe Holiday Shopping)

Don’t Bring Your Guns to Town, Santa!

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
But wait! What’s that sound? It’s the sound of Santa’s sleigh!
But wait, something’s different this year. Santa’s sleigh is full of guns!

That’s right, Santa Claus is now packing heat. And he’s not afraid to use it. In fact, he’s been known to shoot first and ask questions later.

So, if you’re thinking of robbing Santa this year, think again. Because Santa is armed and dangerous. And he’s not afraid to use his guns to protect his Christmas presents.

So, next time you see Santa Claus, be sure to wish him a Merry Christmas. And don’t forget to tell him to leave his guns at home.

| Column 1 | Column 2 | Column 3 |
|—|—|—|
| Title | Don’T Bring Your Guns To Town Santa? | Song by Phil Ochs |
| Lyrics | [Verse 1]
I saw Santa Claus last night,
He was dressed in his red suit,
He had a sack full of toys,
And a gun in his boot.

[Chorus]
Don’t bring your guns to town, Santa,
Don’t bring your guns to town,
We don’t want your guns here,
We don’t want your guns around.

[Verse 2]
I said, “Santa, what’s that gun for?”
He said, “It’s for the bad children,
The ones who don’t behave,
The ones who don’t believe in me.”

[Chorus]
Don’t bring your guns to town, Santa,
Don’t bring your guns to town,
We don’t want your guns here,
We don’t want your guns around.

[Bridge]
I said, “Santa, you don’t need a gun,
You have magic,
You can just wave your hand,
And the bad children will be good.”

[Chorus]
Don’t bring your guns to town, Santa,
Don’t bring your guns to town,
We don’t want your guns here,
We don’t want your guns around.

[Outro]
Santa Claus turned and walked away,
He climbed into his sleigh,
And flew off into the night,
With his gun in his boot.

The History of Santa Claus and Guns

The origins of Santa Claus can be traced back to the 4th century AD, when Saint Nicholas was a bishop in Myra, a city in what is now Turkey. Nicholas was known for his generosity and kindness, and he would often give gifts to the poor and needy. In the centuries that followed, Saint Nicholas’s story was told and retold, and he eventually became the figure we know today as Santa Claus.

The first depictions of Santa Claus with a gun appeared in the 19th century. In these images, Santa was often shown carrying a rifle or shotgun, and he was often depicted as using these weapons to protect himself from wild animals or to hunt for food.

In the 20th century, the image of Santa Claus with a gun became more controversial. Some people argued that it was inappropriate for Santa to be depicted with a weapon, while others argued that it was necessary for Santa to protect himself from the dangers of the North Pole.

Today, the debate over whether or not Santa Claus should carry a gun continues. There are strong arguments on both sides of the issue, and it is unlikely that this debate will be resolved anytime soon.

The Pros and Cons of Santa Claus Carrying a Gun

There are a number of arguments in favor of Santa Claus carrying a gun.

• Santa needs to protect himself from wild animals. The North Pole is a dangerous place, and Santa needs to be able to protect himself from the polar bears, wolves, and other animals that live there. A gun would give Santa the ability to defend himself if he were attacked.
• Santa needs to protect himself from criminals. The North Pole is also a popular destination for criminals, who are often looking to steal Santa’s presents. A gun would give Santa the ability to protect himself and his presents from these criminals.
• Santa needs a gun to hunt for food. The North Pole is a cold and inhospitable place, and food is scarce. Santa needs a gun to hunt for food so that he can stay healthy and strong.

There are also a number of arguments against Santa Claus carrying a gun.

• Guns are dangerous and should not be used by children. Santa Claus is a beloved figure who is often seen as a role model for children. If Santa Claus were to carry a gun, it could send the wrong message to children, and it could encourage them to think that guns are toys.
• Santa Claus is a symbol of peace and goodwill. Carrying a gun would be inconsistent with Santa Claus’s message of peace and goodwill. It would also make Santa Claus seem more like a soldier than a jolly old man.
• Guns are not necessary for Santa Claus to do his job. Santa Claus has been delivering presents to children for centuries without a gun. He has the help of his elves, and he has magic powers. He does not need a gun to protect himself or to hunt for food.

The debate over whether or not Santa Claus should carry a gun is likely to continue for many years to come. There are strong arguments on both sides of the issue, and it is unlikely that this debate will be resolved anytime soon.

The Potential Consequences of Santa Claus Carrying a Gun

If Santa Claus were to start carrying a gun, there could be a number of potential consequences.

• Children could be harmed. If Santa Claus were to accidentally shoot a child, it would be a devastating tragedy. Children look up to Santa Claus, and they would be traumatized if they saw him hurt someone.
• Gun violence could increase. If Santa Claus were to carry a gun, it could send the message that guns are acceptable and that it is okay to use them to solve problems. This could lead to an increase in gun violence in the real world.
• Santa Claus could become more violent. If Santa Claus were to start carrying a gun, he could become more aggressive and more likely to use violence. This could make him less effective at delivering presents and could make him a danger to himself and others.

The potential consequences of Santa Claus carrying a gun are serious and should be carefully considered. Before Santa Claus makes the decision to carry a gun, he should weigh the pros and cons carefully and consider the potential consequences.

The debate over whether or not Santa Claus should carry a gun is a complex one with no easy answers. There are strong arguments on both sides of the issue, and it is unlikely that this debate will be resolved anytime soon. However, it is important to remember that Santa Claus is a beloved figure who is often seen as a role model for children. Whatever decision Santa Claus makes about whether or not to carry a gun, it should

the debate over whether or not Santa Claus should carry a gun is a complex one with no easy answers. There are valid arguments to be made on both sides of the issue. However, it is important to remember that Santa Claus is a symbol of peace and goodwill, and that carrying a gun is not consistent with his message. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not Santa Claus should carry a gun is a personal one that each individual must make for themselves.